I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
