I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I smell like Dick and happiness
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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