I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
