Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I cannot find my penis.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Randomize
