Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
