Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
