grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
