I smell stomach acid.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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