I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We were destined to go to rehab together
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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