I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
