I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
