At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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