The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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