What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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