I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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