you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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