it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
