why didn't you poke me back
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
