how can u be prego again
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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