I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
