That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
