Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
