i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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