am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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