i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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