I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
