It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
