And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
