Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Randomize
