Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
