Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think your dad took our porno
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
