Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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