He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
