Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
