remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
