She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
