What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
