I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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