I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
