is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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