I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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