sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
