about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
