Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ ๐๐ผ
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that ๐ I went with "no"
Sheโs fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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