If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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