when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
the raccoons are back...
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