He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
