If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
