Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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