Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
