That's intense
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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