Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize