I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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