my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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