Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
