...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
