Sponge bath it is.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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