eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
