im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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