she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
