Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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