Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
