eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
