i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
